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99 Dead Baboons

Hello Bobby my old friend.
It's good to see you once again.
How's your mother, how's your aunt?

How's your father's skin diving suit?

I've got something you should see
Back at my place; come with me.
I've got some brand new furnishings,

Plus Ninety Nine dead baboons
Ninety Nine dead baboons
Sitting in my living room.

Not too functional it seems,
But quite a conversation piece.
This one's Jake, that one's Dinah,

There's big Ned in my recliner.
No it's not a lazy boy.
Can't you see it's a dead baboon?
Dead baboons, dead baboons.

How they got here I'm not sure;
Woke up one day, there they were.
Lucky my lease allows pets if deceased.

I'm just thankful they're not apes,
'Cuz apes would clash with the drapes.
No more napkins at my parties

Wipe your hands on a dead baboon.
Dead baboons are lots of fun;
Playin' water balloons I've always won.
You can keep your dead giraffes and swine,

I'll take dead baboons every time.
There's just one problem I have found:
It's finding Purina Dead Baboon Chow.

But what a handy snorkeling device...
With Ninety Nine dead baboons.

Dead baboons, dead baboons.
Dead baboons, dead baboons.

Ninety Nine dead baboons
Sitting in my living room.
Not too functional it seems,

But quite a conversation piece.
This one's Jake, that one's Dinah,
There's big Ned in my recliner.

No it's not a lazy boy.
Can't you see it's a dead baboon?